Premise

Jay Fergenson grew up his whole life playing April Fools jokes on his father. Every year, he concocted some new way to get at his dad. Jay, now 20, decides to pull a prank before he heads back to college. But things don't go quite as planned. The prank is too much for his dead old dad and ends up sending him to an early grave. Now Jay must face his family at the funeral. His mother is a mess, his older sister is infuriated, and while everyone else is saying it wasn't his fault Jay knows in his heart that he is the one solely to blame. But worst of all, Jay is the one who has to give the eulogy.

 

Full Synopsis Coming Soon!

Gather 'round, young padawans in the art of tricks and traps. I've got lots of stories to share, so seek and ye shall find. Email, tweet, text, carrier pigeon, smoke signal, I know you're clamoring for the J-Man's expertise.

Just remember, you get what you ask for...


Hey Jay, is it appropriate to laugh at funerals?

-Ken R.

Only if there's a clown in the casket, buddy. That's why I always carry a make-up kit with me. Next.

 

Dear Jay,
I want to prank one of my co-workers. He keeps falling asleep, like literally sprawled over his desk knocked out. He thinks that since we're in cubicles, nobody will see. But this is just asking for something epic!

-Will A.

You said the p-word. I hate you. You don't deserve epic. But here's simple.  Wait for your victim (or vic, as I like to call 'em) to slump forward. Then, very quietly staple his tie onto the desk (I can't imagine any cubicle jockeys who don't wear those things!).

Now the fun part. Slap him awake and run away. Then watch as he tries to get up.

Next.

 

What are your thoughts on the classic pie to the face?

-Pete. P

You'll never go gold if you don't go bold, Pete. That's what my old man would always tell me. Up the ante to cheesecake, and fling it at some lactose intolerant folks.

 

I have a clean-freak roommate, and I really want to mess with them because they're just so annoying. They'll be gone for a day next week, so now's my chance. What should I do?

-Paul H.

 Packing peanuts are always plentiful, and almost as cheap as the air they're made of. Grab like a dozen big bags of them, I mean people-sized big. Go to your sucker's room, and just FILL IT TO THE CEILING.

Then back out and shut the door. And this is important, for the love of god, don't open it.

 

 Mistah Jay, I have a surplus of flour. What should I do with it?

-Halee

Put a layer of flour on the tops of some ceiling fan blades. Then wait for a vic to walk into the room and turn it on. I pulled that one on my sister when I was only ten; man, those were good times.

 

My brother ALWAYS hogs the bathroom. How can I get back at him?

-Amy P.

Elementary, my dear Ms. Pond. Wait until your vic is finally out (get a magazine or something in the meantime, he's probably got one in there). Once he is finally out, swipe all the toliet paper. And the towels, and magazines, and anything paper or of sheet-like substance. But leave one little ole' roll of sandpaper right by the john.

Next!


Use one item from Michael's Arts & Crafts. Go.

-Joe S.

Challenge accepted. And by the way, Aaron Brothers for the TOTAL win. Anyways, all I need is one small jar of confetti.

Pour all of it into the air conditioning vents of your sucker's car. Pro Tip: If it's their birthday throw in some glitter too (totally optional)

Next!

 

My friend has a major sweet-tooth. Any ideas?

-Tim G.

Timmy, my boy. I like ice cream. Chocolate ice cream, because French Vanila always loses and that Green Tea flavored stuff is a lie, no matter what my mom says. But I'll tell you what I do admire about those other two flavors....

Nobody ever suspects them of being Crisco or wasabi.

 

I hate traffic. What can I do about it?

-Ed D.

My father asks that very same question almost every day. Well, I felt like I owed him one for bailing me out of a particularly nasty incident involving me, the neighbors, and some authorities, so I decided to give him a treat one day.

Several blocks away they were repaving the roads so I borrowed some of those plastic folding barricades and orange cones. Then I set them up about a block away along the street passing by our house. My father drove to work the next morning completely by himself on the road...all because everyone else was stuck behind an area zoned off "for construction" that strangely enough had no people or machinery present.

 

Jay,  I wanna surprise one of my roommates. You know, just to shock her a little and spice up her day.

-Emily K.

Hmm. Use a taser and pepper spray.

 

I dare you to make a prank that uses food but DOESN'T involve anyone eating it!

-Mike A.

There's that p-word again. You peasants. Anyways, this is easy as pie. Just unscrew their shower head and slip in some chicken bouillon cubes. They'll smell like chicken broth for the entire day.

Or, Kool-Aid powder. Heheh.

 

My roomie always comes home drunk like every other night, and I'm getting sick of it. What can I do?

-Adam P.

Next time they stagger in smashed off their rockers and plop on the bed grab their phone and set the alarm for 7:30AM. Put it barely out of finger's reach, and then place a half-full can of Coke right next to it.

When it goes off they'll swat at it in annoyance, spilling sweet, sticky payback all over their fancy-schmancy phone.

Or, just do an intervention. But I like my way better.


What's one of the most epic things you've ever pulled?

-C.J.

A lady never asks and a gentlemen never tells, but since I have no idea what gender you are based on those initials... what the hell. This isn't my "most epic" by far, but it's up there.

One night I soaked the railroad tracks by the station with pig grease. When the train came in it slid for almost another mile. Everyone had to walk all the way back to the station, including my visiting cousins.

What? They're absoutely unbearable.

 

 I'm bored. Help.

-Bie83r

Hi bored, I'm Jay! Let me help you with that.

  1. Go to your nearest Smart and Final or something
  2. Get 2-3 rolls of saran wrap.
  3. Go to the first car you see.
  4. Wrap.
  5. ????
  6. Profit.

 

Can you top my senior class's prank of putting all the gym equipment on the roof of the gym overnight?

-Scott P.

Leave it to jocks to think with their muscles, not with their heads. I pulled this beaut' when I was in high school.

Some buddies and I wanted to pull a big one on our rival school around Homecoming; not so much out of school pride but just because they happened to have the Wild Boars as a mascot. We got our hands on a couple of pigs and set them loose on their campus, but not before painting #1 and #3 on them, respectively. They spent all morning trying to catch those pigs, and when they finally did they spent the next few days trying to find the missing #2.

 

What's a really good prank to do around campfires?

-Robin B.

Well I was going to share my signature recipe for what I affectionally like to call "Marshmellow Napalm" but since you just had to use that p-word, you are clearly unworthy.

But, since you appear to have some spirit for tricks, here's a simple one instead... If there's any of those standing camp grills that you see around parks, immediately volunteer to start the fire. When no one's looking, lay down a layer of popcorn kernels beneath the charcoal briquettes or whatever else you use. Once the fire's started,  ask your vic to watch the flames for you while you clearly must attend to another matter.

The loud, rampant popping that'll go off in a minute should make them jump out of their pants.

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